Dear Yousef aka Fousey Tube
For the past couple years I have been following someone on YouTube I have grown to care for, simply because I can relate to him. This post is for him, for me, and for anyone else that can benefit.
I was watching your videos last night, the ones where you talk about your addictions, your issues with your weight, how you overcame the weight gain but still struggle with your addictions. There was one video in particular titled “What it’s like Living with an Addiction” it struck me in a very deep way, because I could relate to everything you said. Most people around me don’t know the addictions I suffer and the hell that comes with pursuing them. Most people live in a world where addictions are just personality quirks, things that make me who I am. Why do I need change? I don’t have a problem. These statements are white lies we tell ourselves, never truly believing them.
That is why I am here to tell you, myself, and anyone who is willing to listen, its okay. Its okay that you slip, that you have addictions, that you suffer, cry, fall down thousands of times, feel like shit, get up and the cycle starts again. Not only is it okay, it is essential for the progression of your self. The part that’s important and commendable is getting up. This is why when I see your struggles, your pain, I also see a man who is a fighter. Never willing to give up, not willing to settle for the trivial enjoyment of his addictions. That is the Yusuf I know you love. That is the you, that you want to be forever, but then this other side of you comes. Maybe it starts as a whisper, a thought, an idea, and then this other Yusuf, this anti-you, starts fighting with your good side. The war field your mind, the causality almost always your dignity, but alas you come out the other side stronger.
Never give up. That is the worst thing you will ever do. Let me finish with a story. There was a man who was sleeping in the dessert in the shade of his camel. When he woke up his camel and all his belongings were gone. The man, worried, asks Allah to please help find his sustenance. As he is waiting he falls asleep again, only to wake up and find his camel and all his belongings next to him. Think about the happiness that man must have felt. Now understand that Allah feels happier when his servant comes back to him after he sins then a man who finds what he once lost. This is important to remember. That no matter what others think, what YOU think, Allah knows you better than everyone. He sees your struggles, he sees you fighting to change, to come back to Him. Dont let comments people say deter you from seeing that, from feeling His forgiveness. Hamza Yusuf once said that Islam is a religion of compassion, of mercy, and those that shut the door on others are like shaytan.
Unfortunately this world is full of devils. They strike you with their nasty comments, they burn you with false judgments, they poke you when you’re down, they are like boulders in a stream. My advice, be like the stream, and flow right past them.
– Omar M
P.S. You mention many times that you are alone, that you have no friends. I feel you, I feel the same way many times. I feel like you and me are a lot alike, as we are all. I want you to know from the bottom of my heart, that you do have a friend in me. It took me a long time to finally get to the point to write this letter to you. It comes from a place of love. I truly don’t like seeing anyone suffer. I have seen you do a lot of good. I know you have a soft heart, a big heart. Keep your head up, and don’t be afraid to reach out.