Sometimes I feel like I’m slipping. I fool myself into believing I am killing time, not realizing that each second brings me closer to death. I have days when I stand in front of the mirror asking myself, who am I. Trying to find the person I lost within my own eyes. It is the crushing force of failure. To stand bare and look at yourself with the most unbiased of eyes. To stand with all your idiosyncrasies and flaws and ask how you became this person.
Many of us start life with hope. Our eyes filled with glee as we step out into the world. Everything is happy, everything will be alright. Somewhere along the journey we slowly lose that sparkle. We fill our lives with broken promises, those promises we made when we were younger. Promises of being healthy, of being successful, of being who we wanted to be. Life it seems got in the way. So we start to rationalize, start to explain to ourselves why we became who we are. Like somehow we can persuade our souls into believing, even for a second, that our actions aren’t as damaging as we feel inside. We are very good at fooling ourselves, at using excuses to justify our false sense of accomplishment.
We have all felt this way. Felt hopeless, depressed, lost, agitated, and angry at ourselves. Like somehow we didn’t realize that those negative actions would actually make us feel negative. You see no matter how hard we try, we all know at an intrinsic level what actions bring us to feeling this way. In the same turn, we know what actions make us feel happy, positive, and filled with energy. Yet, knowing these two very important insights into our hearts we somehow choose to go down the dark, dimly lit path filled with regret. Using every excuse possible to justify our actions. It is time to stop the madness.
To understand the difference between genuinely happy people and the rest is to understand yourself. To understand that these empty excuses leave us just that, empty. Actions with no soul will always leave your soul void of any feeling of accomplishment, of happiness. It is during these days of self-reflection that I mend my broken spirit. Help myself get back up. Throw away my excuses and replace them with fulfilling action. Because you see, if you let the current state you are in be the dominating state of your life you will have lived a failed life. We all have days where we feel depressed, sad, hopeless, but we can’t let those days become excuses to stop us from reaching our potential. It is up to us to change our circumstance. To lift up our heads and take charge of our destinies. If you can come to the realization that life is all about the decisions you make, and then understand the impact of every decision you fill your life with, you will find that you have total control over the quality of your life. You can choose to be the person who holds up their empty excuses or you can be the person who took control of their lives. Either way time will come when you will look back at your past and you’ll either feel an overflowing sense of happiness or a crushing feeling of regret. Question is, which version of yourself do you want looking back.
– Omar M