Walls we Build
This Ramadan left me with a lot of questions about why I am the way I am. I found myself not feeling Allah in my prayers, didn’t feel the closeness that I had felt Ramadans before and it made me take a look at myself. My concerns lead me to listen to a lecture by Sheikh Hamza Yusuf where he talked about how we set up walls around our hearts that refrain, or hamper us from attaining taqwa.
These walls are set up by us around our hearts whenever we do something that is haram. When we look at something bad, or use our tongues for backbiting, our anger for revenge, these things put up a barrier that hinders us from feeling Allah. It is like we set up veils between us and Allah. This made me think, made me reflect on all the things I do that keep me from getting closer to Allah. All the things I do each and every day that slowly build these walls. It was this knowledge coupled with a reminder from a friend that helps me. The reminder was this, that no matter how far you feel from Allah in your prayer or in your dua, keep making dua as if you can see and feel Him for that will condition your hearts and Allah loves those who try. InshAllah we can visualize a barrier or a veil being set up between us and Allah the next time we are about to sin, and refrain from doing it, so that when we raise our hands up for forgiveness there nothing between our hearts and our Rabb.
I really needed this reminder and I hope everyone benefits from it.