Marriage is something we all think about but so few of us ever talk openly about with our parents, our siblings, our scholars. It astounds me how little attention is paid to marriage, when marriage is such a critical part of our Imaan. Our Prophet said “Whomever Allah has blessed with a righteous wife, He has helped him with half of his religion, so let him fear Allah with regard to the other half.”
In my life I have been through many tribulations in this regard. Finding someone to marry is not easy, it is also increasingly difficult in this society. I find culture has totally mangled the rules and understanding of what marriage is. It saddens me that our youth are faced with such graphic, explicit sexual content on a day-to-day basis and when the topic of marriage is brought up they are faced with laughs and words like you are still just a kid, you dont need to get married. Yes it is up to us to be strong, to stay strong but it is also the responsibility of parents, communities, and cultures to understand that marriage is much more than gaining assets or elevating your status.
These are jahil thoughts, to force your daughter into marrying a doctor because of some inner family promises. Or to marry into a family for the sole reason that they have money and power. There is a joke in Pakistani culture where they say if you become a doctor you will have a line of girls waiting to get married to you. Why? What does it prove that someone is a doctor. Nothing. This hijacking of Islam done by various cultures is absolutely wrong. We must understand that Islam is not an a-la-carte menu. We dont get to choose to abide by some laws and then disregard the rest.
If we are to call ourselves Muslims we must understand that it is our responsibility to seek knowledge. To understand these aspects of Islam. To understand what marriage means, what it entails, and how to look at it through the prism of Islam. Everything in our religion is made simple for us, it is our cultural baggage that adds unnecessary difficulties. We must begin to change these ancient, broken down, cultural idiosyncrasies. Marriage is a beautiful part of our lives, of our faith. Islam believes in love. Islam contains within it the idea of soul mates. For after all Allah swt tells us, `And We have created everything in pairs, that perhaps you may remember.’ (Quran, 51:49).
Our religion is beautiful and it annoys me when people choose cultural understanding over Islamic principles. I hope to one day find my soul mate, I remain patient in that journey and I know Allah swt will bring us together when its meant. I also pray that we can change our conditions, become more aware of our religion. It is only through Allah that we will find the person who is meant for us. I pray Allah gives strength to our generation and makes it easier for future generations.
* I would like to hear back from everyone, their thoughts, their experiences, whatever you have to say. I don’t mind, even if it is a negative comment, or you dont agree with me. It is about discussion, respectful discussion so we can all benefit.
– Omar Malik