Why is it that sometimes our hearts feel empty. Like abandoned villages, we walk through the streets of our hearts in tears. It happens to all of us, this feeling of sadness lingers in our hearts, clawing its way out, until it reaches our eyes and comes out as tears.
Depression comes from our sins. It originates in our hearts for our hearts know when we have transgressed. Our hearts are also an indicator of when we need to change something in our lives. If we refuse the signs, our hearts harden until they become dark and heavy. A dark heart is one that is diseased, hard, like coal, with no feelings, no understanding of his or her actions. Imagine having a fresh white sheet, and every time you sin its like dipping a paint brush in black paint and putting a dot on that sheet, this continues until that once bright white sheet lays covered in blackness. Our hearts are like that, we stain them with our sins, and wash them with repentance. Allah in His infinite mercy tell us to ask for His forgiveness, for He loves to forgive. Our Prophet used to say -“O Allah! Wash away my sins with the water of snow and hail, and cleanse my heart from all the sins as a white garment is cleansed from the filth ” ( Ibn-Maga)
This is the reason Islam is so beautiful, because everything is in balance. Nothing happens or is asked of us without benefit. As the Prophet said, “the life of the believer is amazing, if something bad happens he remains patient knowing it is best for him and if something good happens he knows it’s from Allah and it is good for him.” Depression comes from us, but at the same time its Allah’s way of telling us we need to change our actions. He uses depression to help us, to clean us. When we feel guilty about doing something bad, that brings us good deeds, wiping away our bad. When our hearts feel heavy and we turn to Allah He forgives us, and removes our sins. It is with that intention, that I am depressed but will stay patient because it is from my Rab, that our sins fall away from our hearts even when we feel miserable.
Depression leads us to doubt, which leads us to find things, objects, or people in our lives that will fill that void. We seek temporary pleasures to subdue the feeling of emptiness, only to have that short bliss followed by a greater sense of sadness. If we get stuck in this cycle it can be destructive. Causing our hearts to falter, to sin more, and we eventually experience death of the spiritual heart. We must learn to find happiness in moments of depression. Every moment in our lives has something good behind it, maybe we cant see it yet, maybe we wont ever see it but that is when faith comes in. That is when having an unwavering conviction that what I’m feeling is from Allah and He will help me ease my way back into happiness.
– Omar Malik