In a world that is filled with divorces, cheating, dating, constant sexual references and a breakdown of monogamy we are faced with a challenge of upholding our morals to the point where we feel as if we are carrying a bolder on our souls. We feel alone, wanting, left to deal with this stress in the dark. Finding that we can’t turn to our parents, our cultures leave us in the cold, and we see those close to us falling by the wayside. It’s a challenge each and every day, some days are easy, others, difficult. So what are we supposed to do living in a society where every song, every movie, every tv show, everywhere we turn we see actions that are against the fabric of our religion? We stay patient.
Its on the mind of everyone our age, marriage, yet no one talks about it. Scholars don’t seem to lecture on the subject, and if they do it’s aimed at those who are already married. Where should we turn to for comfort? The answer is simple but requires a great depth of understanding. Everything we have, and will achieve is from Allah. This is a truth many of us don’t realize the importance of. Every question has an answer, every tribulation accompanied by ease, but it’s only through the understanding of our religion.
If we ask Allah He will give. He is our everything and He does for us what is best. It is how we ask Him Eternal Love that is important. We must ask Him to give us what He thinks is best for us, for He has created us and He has created our soul mates. A lot of people think Islam is a religion devoid of love, that Islam degrades woman and forces woman into arranged marriages. This is far from the truth and is the influence of culture in the religion. Aa’ishah reported that a girl came to her and said, “My father married me to his brother’s son in order to raise his social standing, and I did not want this marriage [I was forced into it].” ?Aa’ishah said, “Sit here until the Prophet comes. The Messenger of Allah came and she told him about the girl. The Prophet sent for her father, then he gave the girl the choice of what to do. She said, “O Messenger of Allah, I have accepted what my father did, but I wanted to prove something to other women.” (Reported by al-Nisaa’i, 3217).
In another hadith narrated by Abu Huraira: The Prophet said, “A matron should not be given in marriage except after consulting her; and a virgin should not be given in marriage except after her permission.” The people asked, “O Allah’s Apostle! How can we know her permission?” He said, “Her silence (indicates her permission).”
These are the rights given to woman in Islam. Marriage is a contract between two people, and if that contact is compromised then the marriage is compromised and has no blessing in it. This is what Allah tells us in the Quran in Surah Al-Nisa Verse 19 – O People who Believe! It is not lawful for you to forcibly become the women’s heirs; and do not restrain women with the intention of taking away a part of bridal money you gave them, unless they openly commit the shameful; and deal kindly with them; and if you do not like them, so it is possible that you dislike a thing in which Allah has placed abundant good.
Marriage in Islam is powerful, the weight of it described in this hadith narrated by Anas ibn Malik, Allah’s Messenger (peace be upon him) said, “When a man marries he has fulfilled half of the ‘deen’; so let him fear Allah regarding the remaining half.” Marriage is a blessing, and finding the one we are meant to be with is a great great reward. It is a reward for our perseverance in the face of shaitaan and his evil tactics that have claimed so many hearts, it is a reward for our strength in times we felt week, and it is a reward for our patience when our hearts felt alone in this world. Hamza Yusuf said in one of his lectures that the only time we will experience peace in this world the likes of Paradise will be when we are united with our other half.
We all have desires, wants, hopes, and dreams and all of these will come true, all of these will be fulfilled, but in time. We must stay patient and ask Allah to give us what He has destined for us. If we go out into the world looking for beauty through the lens of understanding, and the awe of Allah, every stroke of color in the evening sky, every twinkling star, every drop of rain will take us closer to our creator, but if we set out in this world with no understanding, no love for Allah we will see a crude universe filled with darkness. In the same way we must look for our spouses with Allah in our hearts, for He unites hearts, and what a better gift then the gift of eternal love from our Rabb.
– Omar Malik